Crazy holidays in the world
Was walking through the forest man. Suddenly from the thicket runs grey wolf and says:
– Man, I’ll eat you!
– For what?
– Just like that.
– Don’t eat me, I’ll do what you say!
– Okay. If you can fulfill three wishes the first counter man, will remain intact. So we decided the. By the way, they met a woman. Wolf explained the situation to her and said:
– Your first wish, woman? Downcast eyes, she said:
– Man, I feel like it. A man with a great desire made her first wish. Downcast eyes, the woman and the second time said:
– Man, I still want. Gathering all his strength, the man complied and her second desire.
– Well, third? asked the wolf. Blushing, the woman whispered:
– I still want. The man knelt down, lowered his head and said:
– Eat me, wolf.
So, thank you, friends, for those men, which the wolves do not eat!
One young man met the old woman in the woods with a bundle of sticks.
– Oh, son, ‘ she turned to him, help me to bring home firewood, I’ll thank you.
– Why not help, ‘ agreed the man. Give me the firewood. They came to the hut, grandma and says:
You know, I’m a witch. So make what you want. I will grant your three wishes. The man was confused at first, but then I thought, and said:
I always wanted to have a Mercedes.
“Good,” said the old woman. – Now you go on this path, will go on the road, and there you will wait for your new Mercedes.
– Want two-storey Villa on the Mediterranean sea.
Is too easy, ‘ said Granny. – Sit on a Mercedes and drive to your Villa on a high Bank, near nice. Well, let’s your third wish.
– I want his wife I was the most beautiful woman – asked the man.
“Good,” replied the witch. The Villa is waiting for you your beauty. Happy the man, turned and wanted to run down the path to happiness, but grandma stopped him.
– Wait, where are you? – she screamed. – I helped you, you help me again.
– What I else I can do?
– Ashamed to admit it, but long ago I have already men were not, downcast eyes, said the old woman.
– Well, okay. Just hurry up, ‘ agreed the man. He performed her desire and started running along the path.
“Wait,” again the old woman stopped him. – How many years? she asked.
– Thirty-four, what? – the man answered.
– Wow, so big, and believe in fairy tales – surprise said the old woman.
So here’s to the men who believe in fairy tales, and these tales became reality!
She sleeps with a man all her life: up to 5 years – with a pacifier, with a 5 to 10 – with Teddy, with 10 to 15 – with a book, with 15 to 20 – the dream, with 20 to 30 – with his wife, with 30 to 40 – with a stranger, with 40 to 50, from 50 to 60 – with a hot water bottle, with 60 to 70 with the closed window. So let us drink to never shut the window!
I wish men to be slightly Cazanove resistant and durable, elegant and seductive, rich and loving women. Cheers to our men!
Fire try gold, gold – woman, woman – man, man – wine. If the gold is not amenable to the fire, it is of high grade. If a woman can’t buy gold, then it is not corrupt. If a man does not give in to the seduction of women then, he’s a chump. If wine can’t drown a man, so he’s really good at swimming. I propose a toast to unsinkable men! Chump, however, too bad swims.
Sit in the bath three men – journalist, Director of the brewery and digger and all knee: the journalist – language, with the Director – belly, the digger – arm.
Cheers to those men who have something more interesting!
Within the castle lived the Countess, which was ASTL-a handsome man, and the husband went for the next crusade. So one night she says pazhu:
– Jack, I’m cold. Page gathered from around the castle blanket, wrapped the Countess, and that in the chagrin fell asleep. The next day the Countess again said to him:
– Jack, I’m cold. Then the page has collected blankets from around the County, covered the Countess, and she is in bitterness fell asleep. On the third day the Countess again says pazhu:
– Well, Jack, I’m cold! He collected the blankets from all the neighboring counties, hid the Countess, and she fell asleep. In the morning causes the Countess the page and says:
– Buy your own hay.
– Why is it, asks page.
– Donkeys have hay to eat! – she answered. Let’s drink for real men, a diet which hay is not included!
Say age men divided into three periods: vodka, boat and pullets; cinema, wine and dominoes; yogurt, enema and warm the bogs. All my life with both hands held on to first period. The same I wish to you. For vodka, boat and pullets and for you!
This mad, mad world in which we live, such a complex, uncontrollable, terrible, contradictory that there is no peace in the soul, there are dangers everywhere – flying saucers, the mafia, the environment, ethnic conflict. It makes you want to climb in the corner, in silence, and sit, without raising his head. Here we’ll get you out of the corner strong hand shake and say: “Fears in your soul. Everything is fine, the sun is shining, the birds are singing. Giving up on the garden beds to populate, flowers to water”. And here are tired of running there, cook dinner and go to sleep in peace and with the world. I am grateful to the day given in the world of my husband. Let’s toast to his health!
A real man is a man who is metallized: gold in your pocket, silver at the temples, the steel in some places, and iron in the biceps. A real woman – one that, like the Soviet health care, available, free, highly. Cheers to real men and real women!